Life's Five: Entry 19

Live. Hubs and I watched It's a Wonderful Life (IAWL) last night for the first time in years. Who doesn't love that movie? Its theme never grows tired for me: the hopes and dreams we THINK we have for our lives may not be the ones we're really MEANT to have, but we have to pay attention to WHAT WE ALREADY HAVE to grasp that. 

See, we set up these big ideas in our heads, just like George Bailey did, of what we are going to do with our lives, where we're going to go, how famous we'll be or how much money we'll make. These grand ideas (or delusions) never really allow us to BE HERE in the moment. We're always THERE thinking about how we're going to get it, become it, make it, taste it, buy it, decorate it, see it, slay it, etc. When we're THERE we don't sincerely respect and appreciate all that we have RIGHT NOW...before us...for what it is...in all its glory. And that attitude assures us that we will NEVER GET THERE. Why? Because tomorrow is made up of everything you put into today. If you plant a disrespectful, unappreciative seed today by looking at the present as a means to an end, you will only reap the same kind of harvest tomorrow. Plant seeds of joy, contentment, and gratitude instead. Because it is from those things, my friends, that dreams are made.

"Most people are prisoners, thinking only about the future of living in the past. They are not in the present, and the present is where everything begins." Carlos Santana

Laugh.  Dave Barry's Year in Review: 2009

Learn. CAUTION: Picking up balls of wadded-up wrapping paper can be hazardous to your health. After spending three hours in the emergency room yesterday thinking I had a kidney stone, when I was really having horrendous back spasms that made labor seem like a paper cut, I have decided I should start working out a bit more. Well...more than once every quarter. On Saturday after Christmas, while simply bending over to clean up wrapping paper weighing the same as, oh, say, an air bubble, I tweaked something, I guess. So, after my back is all healed up, it's back to the gym for me, soon after which I hope to be lifting paper towel rolls and cans of beans with ease...and without an ambulance.

Like. I like it when you give a Christmas present and the recipient really likes it. And you know they really like it because they put it on immediately, or better still, they put it to use when you're not even looking. That happened this year with this cake pan and its 13-year-old-pastry-chef-in-the-making-recipient. I really like that cake pan. It makes these cute, little, miniature three-tiered cakes. I showed great restraint by not buying one for myself. Maybe my little pastry chef friend will read this blog and bring me one of the cakes instead...

Love. I love business peeps who give back to their communities. It's really the way it should be. Just like IAWL's George Bailey and his old Building & Loan, my money is in your house, and your money helped grow my business, and really we're all in this thing together, right? So let's keep the circle in motion by GIVING.

That's exactly what my talented friend, Kristen Kalp, of Essential Imagery in Wayne, PA is doing. A Main Line Philadelphia Children's Photographer, Kristen started a project called GIVING IS AWESOME in 2008 that gave back to her community by offering free heirloom photography to a needy family. Her gesture set off a domino effect, leading to hundreds of photographers joining in the effort across the country and the WORLD! This year, Kalp and her photographer friends are repeating the sounding joy and even more folks are jumping on board.

You still have a chance to nominate a deserving family for Kristen's prize (deadline is Dec 31 for her) if your nominated family lives in her area, but if not, you can go to GIVING IS AWESOME's website and find a photog that makes geographic sense for you/your nominated family.

To read more about the project, check out this feature written by Cheryl Allison of Main Line Media News. You can also view Kristen's beautiful work on her website, essentialimagery.com.

Life's Five: Entry 18

Live. Hot chocolate by the fire is one of my favorite activities. Add friends, a movie or a book to the mix, and I'm in heaven. I like mine with whipped cream but marshmallows will do in a pinch. Since I mentioned "pinch" I can tell you I've definitely felt pinched for time lately. Now only a few weeks away from our move to NYC, I believe there will be quite a shift here at Life's Five. I expect to be blogging a lot more often. I'm sure I'll want to share all my new excitement with you once the crazy dies down. Maybe you'll come see me over the winter months and we can share the fun over that nice cup of hot chocolate I mentioned. Check out the top NYC places we could go for cocoa, listed in one of my favorite blogs today: Top Spots for Hot Chocolate in NYC 

Laugh. Yesterday morning my sick daughter, having had fever the entire night before, decided to let me find her in her room playing dead with her eyes wide open. I did not find it funny because I didn't even know she knew that game. I freaked, especially when she continued to lie still for a few seconds after I freaked. When she decided to snap out of the dead-deer-in-the-road-look, her expression turned into a smile. I was relieved she felt good enough to play a prank, but then I had to ask her, "Why would you do that?!" She said, "Because I thought it would be funny!" I gave her a tickle and laughed along with her...after I told her to NEVER DO THAT AGAIN. 

Learn. Never buy energy-saving Christmas lights unless your theme is "Nightmare Before Christmas."

Like. I'm just now sorting out the "Listmania" stuff at Amazon.com. I made my first list of recommended items on there today. Admittedly, one item hardly makes a list, but I think it's a pretty cool item. I hope our nephew likes it too. Since I'm posting it on my blog, it's good that he can't read yet. Well, even if he could read, I'm pretty sure I have no 5-year old male readers in my visiting demographic. For that matter, I'm not sure I have any readers in my visiting demographic. :p Stuff I Found That You Might Like

Love. I adore the Christmas season, the true meaning of Christmas, the lights, the friends, the cooking. I just absolutely love, love, love this time of year. In the midst of all the schedules, parties, deadlines, cleaning, and wrapping, I hope you will find time to sit by the fire with your family. Drink a hot cup of cocoa. Read a Christmas story to your kids. Pet the dog. Kiss your man or kiss your girl. And just let the pine needles drop from the tree to the floor and STAY THERE. You can get them tomorrow. Suck out every drop of goodness from this delicious month and you will be better for it in the new year.

Life's Five: Entry 17

Live. I lost a good friend late last week to pulmonary fibrosis (pulmonaryfibrosis.org). Too young to go, too sick to stay, I'll miss you, Stu. You were a good man, good doctor, and a good father. I enjoyed knowing you. So glad I got one last chance to talk to you before you left us. You will be missed. (People aren't around forever. If somebody's been on your mind lately, call them, email them, stop by, or send that note.)

Laugh. One sermon I think this Mom will never forget: "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

Learn. I like to think I'm just a little creative. It's fun to make something out of nothing, isn't it? Whether it's taglines, lyrics, clay, or paint...true creativity occurs when what's inside of you is simply turned inside out. I am amazed at this video. It started with the composer looking at a photograph in a way no one else had before. Do you need to look at things in a fresh, new way? I know I do at times. Super duper really very much extra medium wish I'd thought of this first: Birds on Wires  

Like. Great blog for mommies in NYC. I'm gonna need you, Mommy Poppins! 

Love. Could you live off the grid if you had to? Modern Day Cave Dweller

Life's Five: Entry 16

Live. We found an apartment!

Laugh. A converted industrial loft, it is virtually soundproof so we can laugh as loud as we want to. I'm envisioning lots of belly laughs...the ones you can't control.

Learn. There are awesome people in our building, including little girlfriends for Isabelle. 

Like. It's steps from three of our favorite parks, great restaurants, and Isabelle's new preschool.

Love. We love the space. We love the building. We love the neighborhood. We love that the search is over.  And I love that I can start functioning again. I am in need of a shower. Exercise wouldn't hurt either. But more importantly, my fun Hunter rainboots arrive today. (I admit these boots have nothing to do with this blog post, but fun new boots don't require an introduction.)

Moving + Loft + Preschool sorted + Hunter Rainboots =
Big Happy Butterflies

This is the living room area of our loft. The huge windows make me giddy.

My new rainboots are being delivered today...ahhh. (Ooh. I think FedEx is at the door now!)

Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Entry 15

Live. "Our life is frittered away by detail...simplicity simplicity, simplicity."

~ Henry Thoreau

Laugh. "Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. 

~ Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts" (Saturday Night Live)

Learn. "There is no oil without squeezing the olives; no wine without pressing the grapes; no fragrance without crushing the flower. So when you are pressed, God is just bringing out the best in you." 

~ Author Unknown

Like. "Getting people to like you is merely the other side of liking them.” 

~ Norman Vincent Peale

Love. "It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship."

 ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Life's Five: Entry 14

Totally excited to find this article today about the "I Love Cass" campaign. I knew I had won a prize but didn't know it was for "Most Creative." Stoked about that. I did an MBA at Cass Business School in London, England. Fab experience. Highly recommended. 

Here's the little article with a link to the video of the entries. 

Life's Five: Entry 13

Live. Waking up before the sun. Listening to a morning rain that sounds like a Hawaiian waterfall. Feeling the rush of words race from my fingertips. Thinking how nice it would be to have a cup of hot tea in my hands...


Laugh. Still in bed, all warm and cozy with my little girl who sleepily shuffled into my room at 5AM, I hear the snap of a mousetrap downstairs in our old farmhouse kitchen. In the stillness after the snap, the mousetrap lurches across the hardwood floor...then pauses. Lurches...then pauses. Then it finally scrapes to a halt. And this is the explanation for why I have no hot tea in my hands.


Learn. I love photography, photoshop, photojojo, photo shoots, etc. Today I downloaded the ShakeItPhoto app, which adds a Polaroid look to your iPhone pics. I love the vintage feel and can almost smell that Polaroid smell. For only 99 cents, this app will add a nostalgic touch to your current library photos or new ones. The scoop on this app came from my friend Kristen, of Essential Imagery, (only the best child photographer on the planet!) 

Check out my first iPhone Polaroid:

I love driving in NYC where the official bumper sticker should read:

"No One Will Judge You For Honking Here."

Like. Last night I got "Boo'ed". I have never heard of being "Boo'ed" but some little friends brought a bag of goodies by my house that was filled with candies; cookies with orange, sprinkly icing; stickers; a blinking pumpkin necklace; and a can of silly string, which was tested by me for ummm...safety reasons. One can never be too safe, especially near Halloween. Also inside the bag was a little white ghost, which I am supposed to hang on my door to let my neighbors know I have been "boo'ed". My brief, according to a poem inside, is now to find three other houses that haven't been "boo'ed" and do the same to them. When husband came home and checked out our "Boo Bag" he said, "This is a pyramid scheme." Then he promptly reached for the cookies. 


I like the idea of reaching out to three people. It probably won't be a Halloween tradition for me, but the pyramid (multi-level marketing) concept of giving is a great way to build community. Connect with people and show them you care. And by asking them to do the same for someone else, they will have to find a little time in an otherwise busy schedule--or find a little courage inside their cowardly lion--and make a new friend. Pretty soon, it'll be friends all around. Who could BOO that?!


Love. The big news around the house this week was the release of my sweet little EP, "Bite Of The Sky" on iTunes! Seriously, folks, I'm just a girl. But now I'm a girl with a downloadable CD on iTunes. I'd LOVE it if you'd check it out, grab a copy and maybe...even tell three of your friends???


Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Entry 12

My EP is now 

available on iTunes!

Life's Five: Entry 11

My Bermuda Trip, October 2009

Live.

(Spa pedicure. All-over-cure.)

Laugh.

(Chicken Litter. Kitten Leader.)

Learn.

(The Unfinished Church. Many meanings.)

Like.

(10 second timer. Infinite view.)

Love.

(Little footprints. Lasting impression.)

Life's Five: Entry 10

My New Red Shoes: 

Live. Laugh. Learn. Like. Love.

That is all.

Life's Five: Entry 9

Live. A group of women come together in a stunning NYC apartment on a sparkling Saturday morning to share, listen, learn, and support each other. There is a collision. There are sparks. It is beautiful. The women feel more alive after plugging into each other's energy, dreams, and challenges. They are grateful to Danielle LaPorte of whitehottruth.com for her gifted insight and for bringing them all together. The best part is...the story didn't end there.


Laugh.

3-year-old Daughter: Can I eat breakfast with the Barbie spoon?

Me: I don't think we have a Barbie spoon. What does it look like?

3-year-old Daughter: It has Barbies on it.

Me: Right. 

Learn. I learn a lot from my friends. If you're not learning anything from your friends, you need to get some new ones. Today, I'm honored to share with you three new friends who also happen to be creative giants by the way:

• Aidan Donnelley Rowley. Author / glad she escaped the law firm / wow hostess with fab apartment / book coming out in the Summer. http://ivyleagueinsecurities.com/
• Michelle Ward. Life coach to creative peeps / giant smiley face / energy bubbling over / left acting behind to really make a difference. http://whenigrowupcoach.com/
• Sarah Burningham. Totally rad lit chic / author with something deep bubbling underneath / publicity expert with great specs. http://sarahburningham.com/ http://littlebirdpublicity.com/

Like. I like dreams. I'm really into them actually. I sometimes have dreams that warn me of impending danger or reveal a truth. I believe God wants to speak to us through dreams but I don't believe all dreams are from Him. For instance, last night I dreamed Beyoncé and Jay Z got married in my backyard. No one told me about the wedding until all the guests arrived. Guests like the Backstreet Boys and the Pope. When I saw the guests under the oak tree in the backyard, I ran inside to clean the house. A huge downpour came and forced 100 guests into my house. I gave up on tidying up and went to my bedroom to chill. That's when Beyoncé appeared. She walked into my bedroom and we chatted like old friends. She showed me one of her booty dances and then rejoined the wedding party. (That girl is in really good shape.) I have no idea why this party was at my house. And I don't know why the Pope was there, but he was there and he was very tired. By the time he showed up in my dream I was sitting on the couch watching everybody throw beer bottles on the floor. I looked over and there was the Pope sitting on the other end of the couch falling asleep. My good friend Scot was walking around with a Radio Shack camera (do they even make cameras?) taking pictures of people. He wanted to take a pic of the Pope falling asleep on the couch but instead of asking the Pope for permission, he intentionally dropped the camera on the Pope to wake him up. The Pope didn't like that very much and wouldn't let Scot take a picture after that. I suggested to the Pope that he move to my bedroom to get some better rest. And that was pretty much the end of the dream. I'm thinking...when a dream invites the Pope into your bedroom...it's probably time to wake up anyway.

Love. I am free to announce that we are moving to NYC soon. I love that we are getting a new opportunity, but I don't love telling all my friends here in Philadelphia that we are leaving. We have had plenty of experience with moving around so we're used to it and actually enjoy going to a new place. It's not fun if you're the ones left behind, though, and I realize that. Likewise, I share with my friends that "The going is easy. It's the leaving that's hard." But I look forward to many sleepovers and shopping weekends and cultural escapades with our visitors. We are already planning for your stay: http://www.cb2.com/family.aspx?c=102&f=4680


Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Entry 8

Things have been really crazy around here lately, so I'm a little behind on my Life's Five, but I'm still keeping track of most of the messages around me. This past weekend I was blessed with the offer to stay in a treasured friend's wonderful city apartment, which she uses as a retreat from the suburbs. Based in Center City, Philadelphia the apartment was close to restaurants and parks that I love. I invited husband to come along Friday night for our anniversary while fab friends of mine watched daughter. The next day we picked up daughter and went back to the city with her. We loved that the Rittenhouse Square Fine Art Show was taking place in the park for the duration of the weekend. Exhibiting around the perimeter of the park were hundreds of artists presenting thousands of original pieces. In the center of the park were the student artists. I found several pieces there that I really enjoyed and could afford. It's always a good thing to support and encourage young people in their craft too.

My post today has been inspired by my weekend in the city of brotherly love...

Live. City life is not for everybody, but I happen to really dig it. After living in London for four years, I developed a lifestyle, though, that doesn't translate well to non-city life. In the city you pop out to grab a coffee on the corner. You look forward to picking up two or three fabulous newspapers that you pour over for hours in between Sunday naps. At any moment you might go out to a new restaurant, see a show, or meet for drinks at a museum. When you move out of the city you have to plan...everything. Being in Philly this weekend gave me a break from having to plan anything. I got to do the pop-outs, try new restaurants, and drool over beautiful art. There were other little gems too: a table of eight girls laughing as they dined in an alley next to a restaurant; a sweet, pink house with red glass cylinders above its top floor windows; a pair of historic, black-iron, horsehead hitching posts to tie up your pony. I really enjoyed myself. Visit a city near you soon and pop out of your daily routine. But don't bring your pony. City people nowadays tend to frown on that.

Laugh. My biggest laugh came when husband recounted our experience at Pico de Gallo, a cozy Mexican place on South Street. Our server was adorable but so new that I had to point it out to him that I knew he was new so he would calm down. Husband thinks the restaurant manager pulled him off the street an hour earlier because they needed an extra hand. No more than 21 with wild, dark curly hair, and wearing a baseball cap, our darling little server dropped glasses, spilled ice, had no idea what we were ordering, didn't know the drinks, and couldn't pronounce the words on the labels at the bar. He had a really fun personality though. That's entertaining. And that beats a perfectly dull server any day. 

Learn. Saturday morning I ate Eggs Benedict at one of my favorite Philly restaurants, Parc. I sat and wondered if "Benedict" had anything to do with Benedict Arnold for betraying one's waistline, but I learned that the name is simply a matter of a suggested recipe by one of three people named Benedict who claim to have created the dish. I'm going with the earliest account. In my book, if you "tweet" it first, it's yours. From Wikipedia,

"In an interview in the "Talk of the Town" column of The New Yorker in 1942, the year before his death, Lemuel Benedict, a retired Wall Street stock broker, claimed that he had wandered into the Waldorf Hotel in 1894 and, hoping to find a cure for his morning hangover, ordered "buttered toast, poached eggs, crisp bacon and a hooker of hollandaise." Oscar Tschirky, the famed maître d'hôtel, was so impressed with the dish that he put it on the breakfast and luncheon menus but substituted ham and a toasted English muffin for the bacon and toast."

Like. I really, really liked the work of Sarah Pollock and Hanneke de Neve this weekend. That is all I want to say. Art doesn't need a bunch of puffed-up elaboration.

http://www.sarahpollock.com/

http://www.hannekedeneve.com/works.aspx

Love. I love food. I love chocolate. I love food covered in chocolate. This weekend at the Rittenhouse art show I stopped by John & Kira's chocolate booth. Chocolate is of course an art form, but I was so surprised to see the actual JOHN of John & Kira's handing out his delicate samples of delightfulness. I shared with John that I discovered John & Kira's a few years ago when I moved to Philadelphia. They're the best chocolates I have ever eaten. They are filled with a variety of flavored chocolate ganache, including real Garden Mint (fresh mint, not peppermint), Bergamot, Lavender Honey (my personal favorites), and more. The ingredients are sourced from local and family farms, and the packaging is as gorgeous as the chocolates. I especially love the Lovebugs and Bees collection. (And shipping is now only $4.95 flat rate. Good move, guys! xo)

http://www.johnandkiras.com/SHOP/Spring-Gifts/12-Delicate-Caramel-Bees_2

Other links:

http://www.rittenhousesquarefineartshow.org/

http://www.parc-restaurant.com/

Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Entry 7

Live.  "Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music." ~ John Milton (English Poet, Author) 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Milton 

Laugh. "We cannot really love anyone with with whom we never laugh" ~ Agnes Repplier, (American Essayist) 

http://www.library.upenn.edu/collections/rbm/mss/repplier/repplierbio.html 

Learn. "People learn something every day, and a lot of times it's that what they learned the day before was wrong."  ~ Bill Vaughan (American Columnist) 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_E._Vaughan 

Like. "What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies." ~ Aristotle (Philosopher, after Socrates and Plato) 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aristotle 

Love. "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius." ~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Amazing) 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfgang_Amadeus_Mozarthttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolfgang_Amadeus_Mozart

Life's Five: Entry 6

Live. A friend of mine has a play running as part of the Philly Fringe Festival. When I told him I was going to come see it, he hesitated. When I asked what was wrong, he said, "There's a lot of talk about sex in the play. I'm just warning you." I laughed. He was protecting me because he knows I'm a Jesus Fan. I appreciated his concern. I guess it gets pretty raunchy. Still, as the mother of a 3-year old, I'm pretty sure I know what sex is, folks. Being a Christian does not make me a prude or dead to the world. Actually, it makes me feel really alive. Anybody else out there think they have to be perfectly prudish to get to heaven? 

Laugh. Last Friday, 9/11, I celebrated my birthday at World Cafe Live in downtown Philadelphia. One of my favorite music venues, World Cafe was hosting the "Philly Song Shuffle" which consisted of "four minute sets, four second set changes, fifty artists on one stage." I enjoyed discovering a few new artists as well as seeing my friend Alfred perform--my amazing cellist friend--from the Alfred James Band. Most of the music was folk-centric. One guy sang about strangling his Betty Lou, and he went into detail about how he would do it. Another man sang about the naked guy at his gym, which I found pretty funny. I probably laughed the hardest at myself when a man by the name of Abe Dubb came on stage. I read his name as "Ah-Bay." Then I thought about it for a minute: "Ah-Bay" singing folk music? I don't think so. Anyway, I chuckled to myself. We live in a land of diversity. And it seems that I have fully assimilated.

http://www.myspace.com/alfredjames
http://www.worldcafelive.com
  
Learn. After the post about my father's suicide Thursday, September 10th, (which, unknown to me at the time of the post, was World Suicide Prevention Day), I learned that many of you have also suffered the death of a parent, relative, or friend via suicide. I'm so thankful you had the courage to talk about it. At the same time, I'm very sad it has happened to so many of us. I also learned that some of you have had thoughts to end it all but didn't. For that I am grateful. Each one of us has enormous value, great purpose, and a beautiful destiny. Call a friend if you're struggling. Please...don't ever be ashamed to share with someone your darkest thoughts. We are here to look out for each other. If you feel like you have no one, contact me via my website. For more information about Suicide Prevention, visit:

International Association for Suicide Prevention

http://www.iasp.info/ 

Like. Still in high school when Dirty Dancing was released, my very lovely and protective mom--who had not seen the movie--would not let me go see it, which I found terribly frustrating. So...my best friend and I waited until it came out on video and we watched it at her house. After it was over, we both looked at each other like "What was the big deal?" We were really disappointed to find absolutely nothing inappropriate in the movie. I admitted to mom later that I watched it and she replied with "So?" I quickly reminded her that she had forbidden me to see it earlier. I guess she forgot. All that stress with the sneaking around, all the hype about what I would see in the movie and didn't, all of it...wasted. Anyway, I liked the movie. And I liked Patrick Swayze. I hate cancer. Rest in peace, Johnny Castle.

Love. I love the days in which we live. At our fingertips is a medley of global interactions through a variety of social networking platforms. Today I watched Kanye West's interruption of Taylor Swift's award at the VMA's. If you haven't seen it, you will. It was totally unprofessional but not unexpected from Kanye West. It's fascinating how quickly society responds to these gaffes. There's no hiding from your mistakes anymore. Whether you're Serena Williams, Kanye or Miss Teen South Carolina, your mistakes are out there...in a million places...forever. And people are going to comment on them...forever. It's horrible. And yet, I think it's a little bit like a continuation of playground socialization. Everybody knew your business on the playground. It's also where you got beat up, Dodgeballed in the head (never happened to me, I swear), gossiped about, bullied, picked last, dissed, and kissed. On the Twitter playground today lots of tweets looked like this: "Yo Patrick Swayze ima let you rest in peace but you know Michael Jackson had one of the best deaths this year." Should make Kanye feel pretty low. Drunk or not...it's not right to upstage anyone under any circumstances. But if you do, you can count on this: all the kids will hear about it and you will get it tomorrow in Dodgeball. Don't say I didn't warn you.

http://www.dodgeballusa.com/

Life's Five: Entry 5

Today's post is a serious one. I received a Facebook message today from someone I do not know. She wrote to me asking for advice. A friend of mine referred her to me because we have been through the same thing--the suicide of a parent. A lot of people know what happened to my father--that he took his own life--but it's not something I tell everyone--until today. When I received the message from my new friend, it was a call of desperation. She couldn't believe her father too had recently completed suicide. She needed advice to help her through it, if I didn't mind. I wrote her back right away. When you go through something this painful, you need someone to talk to, listen to, sit with, cry with, but to have someone who has also been to this horrific place is even more comforting.

Suicide rips through families, workplaces, churches, schools, and communities. It is shocking, confusing, and feels like total darkness for everyone left behind. Since my dad died in 2001 I have never really thought about the advice I would give someone. Thankfully, I have never been asked until now. As I started the email to my new friend, I didn't even really have to think about what I would write. It just came. It came easily to me because I lived it. I lived it slowly--it was not a situation quickly resolved or healed. I am posting this today in my blog because I think it is sound advice. If you're reading this, maybe it will help you or someone you know. I think these thoughts cover all five categories today: live. laugh. learn. like. love. They're all in here.

1) Cry a lot. It helps. I used to cry out loud in public places. I didn't care what people thought. The loss of my father was painful enough, but it also seemed to bring up a load of stuff from my past I suddenly had to deal with--all at once. 

2) Give yourself time. Ask others to give you time. You will probably break down in tears at the strangest of places and most unexpected times. It's okay. It will take a long time before you are able to control that. It took a full year before the fog was lifted from me. I felt like I was going insane. The whole world as I knew it turned upside down and I barely even recognized myself. But when the fog lifted I knew what I was supposed to do. My song, "Just Fly" is about this time in my life. You can find it on my myspace page. 

3) Pray. You will need the strength and hope only God can give you. Without that inner peace, nothing else makes sense. 

4) Forgive your dad. Completion of suicide is not an easily-explained event. No one knows the heart or mind of that person. If a person goes through with it, they are probably very sick in some way--mentally, physically, or under influence of medication. My dad was taking Prednisone, which has psychotic side effects. (Be extra careful with this drug.)

5) Forgive yourself or anyone else who may appear to be the cause of his choice. Forgive anyone who could have "saved" him. It doesn't work that way. No one can make someone complete suicide. Again, it goes back to forgiving your dad...for he likely did not even know what he was doing.

6) Create. Do things, make things, paint things, write in your journal, write poems or songs...whatever your outlet is...it's a good time to let it flow. You will be amazed at what comes out--truth, lies that you believe, love, memories, deep emotions. A creative outlet will help you to see what's inside of you. Then it will help to heal you. 

7) Focus. Focus on the things you love: Your family. Your friends. Your pets. Whatever you love dearly, love it or them more dearly than ever before. Don't let your despair overshadow the beauty that remains. 

8) Remember. Remember the good about your dad. Don't listen to anything negative people may want to tell you. I know it sounds crazy but people will do it. Just put your hand up and walk away. You want your memories to be positive ones. 

9) Reach out. In the midst of our greatest sorrow, there are always others who are hurting. Helping someone else in even a little way will help both of you. And allow others to help you by letting them know that you just can't do it all. People want to do things for you. Let them. 

10) Get back to basics. Eat well. Sleep. Exercise. Stay or get healthy. When you are suffering emotionally it is important to be physically healthy. There are days when you don't feel like eating. You feel like you don't even deserve food because he is gone. Eat anyway. 

There is not a road map to recovery from this. For me God is the only light at the end of any dark tunnel. Hold on to your family. Hold on to Jesus. It's a rough ride but the roughest parts will end eventually. I promise you that. And you will survive. And you will laugh again. Don't feel guilty for having happy moments. You are alive. Celebrate your life. Your dad would want that more than anything."

I hope what I went through helps my new friend and others who are suffering. Eight years later I am pretty healthy upstairs and am enjoying the amazing life I have been given. I haven't forgotten Dad. He comes to my mind everyday, but I don't cry as much anymore. Over time the crying subsided and more and more the laughter started to take over. I miss him a lot, but I still feel happy. And I know my dad would have wanted that for me too.

Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down. 

Life's Five: Entry 4

Live. This is the time of year when I burn rubber at green lights. Summer is great because I say to myself, "nobody is expecting a thing from me today so I'm going to do absolutely nothing and not feel bad about it." But when September 1st hits, I shift into high gear and peel out. The weather invigorates me. The smell in the air is refreshing. I feel happier. I feel like producing, creating, writing, exercising, studying, loving, living. I pretty much want it all in the Fall. 

Laugh. I laugh at myself a lot these days. I laugh because I'm on Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, now Blogspot, my own website, iTunes soon, and the list goes on. What happened to the privacy I once held so dear? A year ago, before this social networking madness took over, I was absolutely convinced the CIA was behind Facebook. But who could fault me? Have you SEEN this video?

http://albumoftheday.com/facebook/

Learn. I'm pumped to see singer/songwriter Ingrid Michaelson next week in Philly. I learned today that she has 25,000 followers on Twitter and almost 30,000 fans on Facebook. I have 95 and 140, respectively. It's humbling. For all of us out there who are doing what we love with the hope of finding someone to appreciate and accept it, maybe it's just not our time yet. (Check out the article below.) Our time is coming. Until then, for me anyway, I'll keep working hard at what I do and simply enjoy being a fan of Ingrid Michaelson's until she becomes a fan of mine. 

Like. My purpose is in life is not to be adored by the masses, but I liked this story I read today:

http://www.musicthinktank.com/blog/why-your-greatness-is-missed.html 


Love. A friend said to me this morning that he really doesn't like music at all. I knew what he meant. I love music but there are plenty of times when I can't bear it...because I want silence. I need it. I crave it. The way of the songwriting world is to know the masters and study them, emulate them. I do find myself listening more and more to the legends to honor them and to develop my craft, but ultimately, I really need to do my own thing. I don't want to copy or even "sound like" someone. I just want to sound like me. And in my quietest moments, that is when I find out more and more what that sounds like. So turn down the music sometimes. You might just hear a song that isn't here yet. 

Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Entry 3

Live. I often tell people that I "live by the seat of my pants." This is mostly true. But until today, I never explored where that expression originated. I get what it means, but it appears to be a derivation of the phrase "flying by the seat of your pants" which, according to http://www.joe-ks.com, originates here:

Before airplanes had sophisticated instruments and flight control systems, and even today, planes are piloted by feel. Pilots can feel the reactions of the plane in response to their actions at the controls. Being the largest point of contact between pilot and plane, most of the feel or feedback comes through the seat of the pants. If you are "flying by the seat of your pants" your are responding to the feedback received.

There are days when I wonder if I should live a more "planned out" life. I don't schedule anything too far in advance except for my dentist appointments, the reminders for which now come via email, text, postcard, and phone call. Yikes. Would I have a more peaceful existence if every part of my day, week, month, year, life was planned? I don't think so. I only really need today. I don't want to always know what tomorrow is going to bring. I might worry too much. I feel alive not knowing. I feel alive with expectancy of something great happening each day. And each day something great does happen. I wake up to another today. I can do "today" a million times over, but give me tomorrow too early and I may implode. 



Laugh. Comic Brian Regan is a very funny guy who always makes me laugh. Check out his take on PopTart directions. One of my all time favorites:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8kThoZpF_U

Learn. Many people celebrate holidays without even knowing why. I'm one of those people. Today I looked up the history of Labor Day. According to the U.S. Dept. of Labor, it was a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. The first Labor Day was celebrated on Tuesday, September 5, 1882, in NYC and eventually became a "workingmen's holiday". On June 28, 1894 Congress passed an act making the first Monday in September of each year a legal holiday. This holiday is set aside so that the nation can: 

"pay tribute on Labor Day to the creator of so much of the nation's strength, freedom, and leadership--the American worker."

God bless the American worker. We need more of them.


Like. I like cake. But I like frosting more. Here's an unbelievable chocolate frosting recipe I made today from allrecipes.com. (I don't know why frosting needs cake, but anyway...)

Creamy Chocolate Frosting
2 3/4 cups confectioner's sugar
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
6 tablespoons softened butter
5 tablespoons 2% milk or evaporated milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1) In a medium bowl, sift together the confectioner's sugar and cocoa.
2) In a large bowl, cream butter until smooth, then gradually beat in sugar mixture, alternating with milk. Blend in vanilla. Beat until light and fluffy. Adjust consistency with more milk or sugar.


Love. An amazing friend of mine, whom I absolutely love and adore, can host parties and cook fabulous meals for hordes of people every night and never feel the need to slow down. I, on the other hand, cannot do that. I'm not wired that way. I need time to zone out. Or just be with my family. Sometimes I want to write music, have quiet time, read a magazine, or even do my never-ending laundry. I love my friends, and I love seeing them, but I have to find a balance. Too much time at home means I am neglecting my precious relationships, but too much socializing means I am neglecting my family, neglecting my responsibilities, and neglecting myself. 

My dear friends, please don't stop the invitations. Just be sure not to ask me to plan too far in advance. My pants can't handle it.

Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Entry 2

Live. I did something crazy today. I bought a bass guitar! I'm so excited! See "Learn" below!

Laugh. On Facebook there has been a status going around about health care. In its original state it looks something like this:

No one should die because they can't afford health care. No one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

This morning I checked the Facebook headlines and one of my friends (MK) had posted the following:

MK thinks no one should be without bacon because they cannot afford any, and no one should go broke because they bought too much bacon. If you agree please post this as your status for the rest of the day.

The health care issue is a hefty one. I'm not making light of it, but MK's status did make me laugh.

Learn. I have played the piano since 4th grade, but I have wanted to play bass for a long time. Today I bought one. She is an arctic white jazz Fender. Her name is Susan. I took her home, removed her from her bag, and put my new Beatles tribute strap around my neck (I do not like the Beatles because Muzak killed the Beatles for me, but the strap is a reminder of the enormous impact they made on music. It also reminds me that I can still learn something from someone I don't actually like.) After reviewing a few "how to learn bass" websites, I figured out enough to play along with one of my songs. The bass is my favorite instrument besides the cello. I have a LOT to learn. I need to start with the basics, but I am going to be decent by the end of the year. I'd ask you to hold me to it, but I trust myself on this one.

Like. U2. I get to see them in concert soon. I like that. I like U2. On the way home tonight I heard Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of from their 2000 "All That You Can't Leave Behind" album. Are you stuck in a moment you can't get out of? Do you know someone who is stuck? I do. I want to help a friend that I like very much, but it's not up to me. He's got to get himself together. I'm here. My hand is extended. But I can't lift a corpse. He has to want to live again. I pray the spark of life and the joy of hope returns to him soon.

Love. If you have kids you probably realize that what matters most to them is your willingness to come alongside them and play, pretend, read, or even rest. I've been paying attention to my kid and the neighbor kids lately. Children don't care about adult responsibilities. And they don't fully understand what it means to "have to go to work." Working to provide for a family is necessary, yes. But adults think that going to work shows love to children. Newsflash: going to work is not a love language for a kid. When you get home at the end of the day, tell your kids how much you miss them while you're at work. Even remind them why you have to work. But then let them know that once you're home you are theirs. Do something everyday that communicates in their language how much you love them. I promise you...they will understand and they will love you back.

Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Entry 1

Before I share today's list, I would like to give a big shout out to my 1 Follower. Thanks for your commitment and for taking a chance on me. Ha ha! :D


Enjoy today's entry, and don't forget: you too can copy this or a similar format for your own life.


Live. This week, to kick off the celebration of my new blog, I took a risk and emailed two writers I am wild about--Dave Barry and Danielle LaPorte--to let them know how much I appreciate their craft. To my delight, they both emailed me back. Find their links here on my blog. You might discover that you like them too. Is there a mentor or someone you admire that you can connect with? It makes your life a lot more fun and hopefully gives them a little encouragement too.


Laugh. A conversation with my 3 year-old daughter made me chuckle and also realize how simple life should or can be:

Me: What would you do if you had a million dollars?

Her: Ummm. I don't know. 

*pause*

Her: I'd buy candy.

Learn. Someone just told me he/she believes the world is going to end in 2012. This was news to me, but I realize that God can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Someone said in response to this possibility: "If you really think the world is going to end in 2012, now is a great time to take out a 30-year mortgage."


Like. I attended a party this week where everyone was expected to bring a dish. One gal brought brownies. Most people bring box brownies, but these brownies had never seen the sides of a cardboard box. After a little probing I discovered the recipe came from The Joy of Cooking. If you're a brownie lover, try the recipe. If you don't have this cookbook, go get it. And while you're out buying the cookbook, be sure to pick up a pound of butter. You'll be needing that too.


Love. A good friend said to me yesterday, "Love the life you're in." It reminded me of the song, "Love The One You're With." Both messages are great reminders to be content where you are, to enjoy the good people in your life, and to make the most of what you have.


Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.

Life's Five: Intro

A couple of months ago I was thinking about things I'd like to remember about my life each day. I realized my brain and my heart wanted to hold onto a lot of my day but unless it was written down it would just fade away. I know that I HAVE to write things down to REALLY remember them. I'm a Myers-Briggs ENFJ. That "F" apparently means I'm a "Feeler" not a thinker, which is why I'm not an ENTJ. So don't ask me to quote verbatim what I read in the newspaper, or to properly relay a punchline of a joke. I only remember how something made me feel: e. n. F. j.


Example conversation with my husband at the end of the day:

Him: Did you read that article about the government?

Me: Yes!

Him: What did you think about it?

Me: I'm mad.

Him: About what, specifically?

Me: I have no idea.

I don't know why my brain works the way it does. I think I need to start playing ping pong. Apparently, ping pong sharpens retention. (I don't know how I remembered that because it's not written down anywhere.) Anyway, I wanted the significant things of my day to be in a format I could easily document and/or share with others. A blog seems to be a good opportunity to do that. So below is an introduction to my List of L's or "Life's Five" which is the name of this blog. I hope to enter my Five L's everyday, as a challenge to myself and to others to really pay attention to what messages, people, signals are coming our way. Life tells you a lot if you just listen.


And, well, write it down.


So here's a little introduction to "Life's Five":


1) LIVE
Things that make me want to challenge myself to really LIVE. Doing something I'm afraid of or trying something new...or maybe just reflection on life in general.


2) LAUGH
Things that make me LAUGH out loud or even just grin a little. Stifling laughter in church, a joke, a Dilbert cartoon, etc....


3) LEARN
Things I want to LEARN or LEARNED that day. I'm over the math thing. Maybe astronomy...


4) LIKE
Things I like. A Trader Joe's product, an advert, a restaurant, a photographer or bakery, a link. (This will probably be mostly about food.)


5) LOVE
Things I am crazy about: A poem, a quote, someone's story, a song, something that moves me, a friend...


I look forward to challenging myself and remembering it with you here at "Live, Laugh, Learn, Like, Love" aka Life's Five.


Be good. Be blessed. And please...write it down.